Wednesday, August 27, 2008

News of Gigantically Tiny Proportions

I have some pretty huge news to share today.

Yesterday JM and I had plans to celebrate our dear friend Phoebe's birthday with her at a local bar/restaurant called Coco's. Normally, I would be excited about hanging out with my friends chatting over a few drinks, but yesterday I did not really feel that excited about it. The day started out fairly ordinary minus the fact that I had been totally preoccupied with thoughts of my late period. JM and I had been throwing all caution to the wind for 6 months and were letting nature its course. Each month I would freak out before a night out with our friends, taking a pregnancy test, just in case, because of course alcohol is not good for a baby. Each month, however, the test would come out negative and I would chock up all my intuition to insanity and then proceed to hit the streets searching out a great cosmopolitan, beer, glass of wine, etc.

Yesterday was different though. I was two days late, exhausted, and had some seriously sore boobs. I mean really sore. Even with all of these early "pregnancy" symptoms, I was still unsure about the possibility of actually being pregnant, but knew that I should check just in case before hitting the birthday celebration. I mean 5 months in a row of nothing - I figured it would just take some time to get pregnant and I was really okay with that. That is not to say that I wasn't disappointed when I saw the negative results of all those other pregnancy tests I had taken over the last months, simply that I figured no stress was better and that I could just let the cards fall as they may. It is hard not to be a little disappointed when you have a husband like mine (a pediatric neurology resident with a penchant for babies!!!) who has been ready to have a baby for a long while now. I, on the other hand, took a little more convincing.

On my much needed Target run yesterday afternoon, I decided that I should buy some more tests so that I could take one before leaving for the soiree that evening. My friend Sara was with me and she kept me (thankfully!) from taking the test in the restroom at Target. When we got to her place I tried to relax, but I had to take the test right away. I just couldn't wait any longer. I think deep down I knew what the result would be, but I really needed to confirm it.

So, I took the test and before I could even physically get out of Sara's restroom and back into her kitchen where she was making us a snack, there it was. Two blue lines indicating a positive test result. In that one second my entire life has changed. JM was still at work and I did not want to tell him over the phone, so I waited with Sara until JM called me to ask where I was. I told him that I would be home in 10 minutes. With my hands shaky and the look of a deer caught in the headlights, I made my way home.

When I pulled into the driveway, I quickly ran from the car to the house with the positive result in my hand. JM was upstairs in the bathroom (he had taken a shower after riding his bike home from work). I decided to ask him, "Hey, do you know what this means?" as I handed him the test. With that we both erupted into tears, laughter and shock. JM jumped up and down for 5 minutes and picked me up and swung me around in sheer exultation of the news. He is so excited and so happy that he is finally going to have a child. It is amazing to see the joy in his eyes. Today he sent me a text message from work saying simply, "I can't stop smiling. I love you."

So, yes, we are officially pregnant, though it is still very very very early (4 weeks). I mean I just missed my period! I already had an ob/gyn appointment for the 11th of September, which I will keep so that they can confirm the big fat positive! I plan on telling family and a few close friends right away, but I think I will wait to tell everyone else until the end of the first trimester, just in case.

I am ecstatic, terrified, overjoyed and shocked all at the same time. Wish us luck and hopefully over the next months I will be able to share some of my experiences with all of you.



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