First of all, thank you for all the sweet comments about little t's nursery. I hope he loves it as much as everyone else seems to! We think it is super cute and I find myself peaking in on everything at least twice a day. We still have some finishing touches left like framed photos/art for the walls, a new futon cover and lamp for the chest of drawers, but overall we are just really pleased with how the room has turned out.
On another note, I am certain that little t had hiccups today and I could finally feel them for the first time. It was the funniest feeling like little rhythmic thumps in my belly for a few minutes. I read that it is towards the end of the second trimester that you can feel these hiccups and sure enough, like clockwork, little t delivered. He must not have been too happy about the hiccups though, because it felt like he was doing some wild acrobatics to get rid of them. Major commotion in the belly all at once. Still, it is so good to feel him move and to know that he is progressing along like he should.
On a not so fun note, but a totally insane one, JM and I have decided that we have to find a new provider to deliver the baby. Since I have been going to a fairly large practice, it is necessary that I rotate through all of the physicians who may end up delivering the baby. Before our hypnobirthing classes started I had only seen one of the six doctors and the only midwife in the practice. I asked them what they thought of natural childbirth and they seemed to be sort of supportive, but not totally enthusiastic about the idea. I was not totally alarmed, however, and continued to see them. Since that time, we began our hypnobirthing classes and I have become aware of the really pointed questions that I should be asking to get a feel for the practice culture and their support or lack thereof of moms who desire natural births. JM and I met with yet another doctor in the practice last week and had the worst experience with him ever!
First of all, he was 45 minutes late and we were the first appointment of the day. We were told that he had a "meeting" and would be 20 minutes late, which turned into 45. Bummer, but after already peeing in a cup, being weighed, etc. it just made more sense to wait than to reschedule. I am glad we waited! When he came in the room, he did not introduce himself to us, but merely sat down and asked, "any questions?" What? No hello, how are yous? I told him about a few minor things that had happened over the past 5 weeks and he seemed fairly disinterested in my concerns. He did not even make a quick note in my Electronic Medical Record chart that he had pulled up on his touch pad hand held computer. I went on to tell him that we were taking hypnobirthing classes and that we desired a natural un-medicated childbirth. I asked him what he thought about natural childbirth in general. He responded by laughing out loud and saying, "I don't really care what you do, because I get to leave the room." Number one, don't laugh in your patient's face. It is rude and condescending. Number two, this implies that I will be one of those "natural birthing moms rolling around and screaming" and that he is lucky that he will not be the one "dealing" with me. I was so mad and shocked that I did not know what to say. Instead of walking out right then, I just kept asking him questions.
I asked about his opinion on fetal monitoring and if I could self-hydrate instead of automatically being hooked up to an IV. I even brought up that I would perfectly willing to have a hep lock so that they could have easy access should I need an IV. I would like freedom and movement and to control my own fluid intake. He again laughed in my face and told me that first time moms get "too tired and nauseous" to self-hydrate and that I would not be able to take care of it myself. He also told me that I needed to have continuous fetal monitoring meaning wearing a belt around my belly the whole labor. I was very disappointed with these answers and wanted to know how that would impact my ability to walk around and to get into a tub of water for example. He informed me that I could walk with the IV pole, but that I "wouldn't be doing much, if any, walking at that point in the labor." I kept thinking, wow! this guy is already totally against me and we have never even met before!
This ob clearly did not want to deal with someone who might rock the boat and interfere with his normal way of dealing with births. I started to think back on the discussions that I had with the other ob and midwife and realized that I was just too scared to admit to myself that I may need to change practices. In fact, when I asked the midwife about natural childbirth she said, "just don't come in here saying you are one of those women with a high pain tolerance." I must have pulled the wool over my own eyes or something. I just did not want to deal with the extra duty of finding a whole new practice at 20 weeks pregnant. But, after last week I knew that I could not accept anyone from this practice delivering our baby.
I called our hypnobirthing instructor immediately after the appointment and asked her for names of docs/midwives that I could call to check out. JM wrote a colleague to inquire about a midwife who assisted in the birth of his baby. Cincinnati is a very conservative city and a hard one if you want to achieve a natural childbirth. There is a 97% epidural rate here, and a 30-something% c-section rate.
I have now made an appointment with one of two obs in the city who supports natural childbirth, but cannot meet him until 2.24. I am also going to interview the midwife JM's colleague used and we are in e-mail contact right now. We are touring another hospital this weekend and I am certain that we will have someone new and improved soon.
I guess I am glad that I found this out now instead of during the delivery. I have heard many many horror stories of docs who say they support you in whatever you want, but when push comes to shove they get their way. If this hypnobirthing will work, I need to be surrounded by people who support me and who will help me through the birthing with good energy and positivity. I am hopeful and I am really looking forward to spending my third trimester in caring hands.
Wish us luck!
cbt, jm, & lt